The Road to Femininity #6 – No Massage Please

English: Thai Massage

Image via Wikipedia

This concept and subsequent question applies to men as well, but I put it in the Femininity series because I know it’s usually considered a luxury by women to have a spa day with relaxing massages.  

People are always saying how wonderful it is to get a professional massage.  I’ve never gotten one.  When I state that, I get audible gasps from the women around me and they tell me I simply MUST go and have one done.  I cringe, visibly.  I do not see how that is relaxing.  There is a stranger grabbing and pulling and grinding their hands up and down your skin while you may or may not be naked under a towel.  Don’t get me wrong, I like a back rub when it’s by say…a boyfriend, but I just don’t like strangers touching me enough to want to pay someone to do it.  

I was reminded of this yesterday when I was getting my hair cut because at this particular salon, Juno Hair, the hair washer gives a scalp massage before drying your hair.  I usually tell her beforehand I don’t wish to have one, but yesterday I thought I’d try it out.  The poor girl had to tell me to relax about 10 times!  As soon as someone begins to put pressure on wherever they are massaging, such as my back, my neck, my scalp, etc, I tense up because to me it hurts.  What’s even more strange is that I tend to have a high tolerance for pain – root canal?  No problem!  2 hour tattoo, or a piercing?  No problem!  5 hour surgery?  No problem!  But someone squeezing my muscles makes me more tense, not less.

Does anyone else have this problem?  Everyone I know RAVES about massages, but I have such a hard time seeing how it helps.  Sometimes I wish I could because I know my muscles are tense, but there has to be another way to relax them without feeling like kneaded dough on a baker’s table.  Someone tell me I’m not alone in this…


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. snsbeauty
    Feb 05, 2012 @ 17:10:34

    I have empathy from both sides of the spectrum! I am a licensed esthetician, so it’s my job to give others relaxing facial, scalp, and hand massages. I LOVE my job and the connection I can make with another human through such intimate touching. I have clients fall asleep all the time as soon as the facial massage portion starts. It makes me so happy to relieve someone’s stress solely through my touch.


    I totally get what you’re saying. I don’t really get the massage from a stranger thing either… Maybe I just haven’t found “THE ONE” massage therapist, but I feel like, “oh, ok, cool. A long back rub” And it IS a little weird to have a stranger rubbing you all over. I most certainly can’t turn my brain off to relax. My theory? Maybe it’s a control issue thing–You have to just lay back and relax and let someone else control the situation. (haha, apologies if i’m casting MY OWN issues on you–maybe that’s just’s me, lol…) But I think you’re either a massage person or you’re not… I guess we’re not. Perhaps we should start a No-Touchy-Touchy Club… lol, 😉


    • Tiffani
      Feb 05, 2012 @ 20:59:56

      First of all, very cool profession. A hand massage is probably the only one I could handle. I agree, there may be an issue there. Maybe control? Maybe fear of being tickled even? (I am a younger sister/younger cousin so I was tickled a lot LOL). I’m sure a psychologist could somehow blame it on my childhood! Haha!! Loving the No Touchy Touchy Club although the name could be a bit ambiguous to those on the outside. 😛


  2. Catherine
    Feb 05, 2012 @ 18:39:34

    I am with you!!! I have tried messages about 6 times and everytime they hurt and I am in pain for a couple days after. I have told the messuse (sp?) each time and they say it’s bc my muscles are so tense I need messages more often for awhile and that I need to drink water (which I drink a ton off). Other than massages I have a high threshold of pain-I want to like them, I really do, but just can’t.


    • Tiffani
      Feb 05, 2012 @ 21:03:43

      Thank you! That’s my thought too! I want to like them, I’m sure I need them, but it’s like paying for torture. I think I’d need to win like a 30 day free trial of massages and do like a ‘face my fear’ sort of game with myself to see if I could get over it. LOL


  3. Tracy
    Feb 06, 2012 @ 02:39:02

    I always forget how much I dislike massages. I go in when I’m feeling particularly soar, but then I’m afraid of hurting the masseuse’s feelings, so I don’t speak up when they’re hurting me. Crazy I know. I’m basically paying them to hurt me. And then I leave feeling more sore than before.


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